Bad Movie, Good Movie

OK, so, this blog has been ambling along without reason or purpose, and it’s definitely starting to gain momentum in hits from foreign entities. So, to help my budding audience along, I’m going to start something new that I’m calling Bad Movie, Good Movie, in which I watch two movies and then write the descriptions to help guide you in making sound choices for the movies you watch.

Over Memorial Day weekend, Colleen and I watched Mercy and Hush, both available on Netflix.

Bad Movie: Mercy

An older woman on her deathbed. A mean ol’ second husband. And four boys—two from each marriage—return home and squabble over who gets their share of mommy’s money. Will it be the dad/stepdad? Will it be the OG boys? Will it be the stepsons? Or will it be the creepy motherfuckers from mom’s cultist church? Hmmm…A movie that forces you to watch it twice, because that’s how poorly written and produced this turd bomb was.

Good Movie: Hush

A deaf and dumb writer is trapped in her home by a serial killer who stalks her from the outside.

Recommendation

Hush, duh!

Little-known Subtitles for the Expendables Movies

The next installment of the Expendables franchise, Expendables 3, hits theaters on August 15. Granted, I haven’t seen 1 and 2, but I think the studio is missing a huge opportunity here to have some fun with subtitles; here are my suggestions:

  • Expendables 1: Everyone’s Got a Gun
  • Expendables 2: Electric Boogaloo
  • Expendables 3: Van Damme Had to Pee
  • Expendables 4: Everyone on the Floor!
  • Expendables 5: Stallone Takes a Dive
  • Expendables 6: Now with Chicks!
  • Expendables 7: Nobody Lands in Heaven
  • Expendables 8: Statham Lifts a Crate
  • Expendables 9: Beuller? Beuller? Beuller?
  • Expendables 10: Here We Go Again

I’d totally greenlight any of those.